1-Always take the time to have alone time together once a week. We have 4 boys and know how busy life can get. But it’s always important to take time to reconnect and make each other feel special with alone time. 2-This is VERY important. Do not hang out alone with the opposite sex no matter how long you have been friends. It causes doubt in your spouse that they may or may not admit to. We have had friends that made fun of us for this but then later agreed it was a good idea when they ended up divorced over an affair that occurred from this kind of friendship. 3- Never stop trying to make your spouse feel special. Do occasional surprises like hidden notes or random texts messages. Grab them when they come home from work and sneak off for a quick make out session. The bottom line is, your spouse is a gift. You never know how long you get to have them for, tragedies may happen and God might call them home. Make every day count. Yes you will fight and disagree with things but honestly, those things make your marriage stronger when you respond to them in a positive way. Treat your spouse with the love that you want to be returned to you. –Shannon I want to share two pieces of advice that I feel will be important for many years to come… 1st: Always LOVE with all your heart! 1 Corinthians 13:4-7New International Version (NIV) Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 2nd: Remember to put God first in your marriage and you can NEVER go wrong! Philippians 4:13 – I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Much Love and Happiness for many years to come!! –Kimberly 2. Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy. –Pamela
- Keep God first in everything. Rely on the Holy Spirit to be a giver more than a taker.
- It’s okay to argue, it just depends on how you do it! When you start to argue, take the time to pray first. Pay attention to how God is looking to change you, and pray for God to take care of your spouse. Many blessings on your marriage! –Friend Oh, and have separate tubes of tooth paste, always. –Cyndi Also, don’t forget to say I love you out of nowhere. It becomes so routine, that it’s nice to get a random I love you text in the middle of the day. Lastly, never stop dating. We get so caught up in our everyday lives/routine that we forget why we got married in the first place. Whether it’s once a week or once a month, make time for a date night/day. Go be a tourist in your city/state, dinner and a movie, or cook dinner together and cozy up to a movie at home. Put away the computers and cell phones and enjoy each other! Don’t let life get in the way of love. –Ashley For him: If you are in a situation in which you need to choose between your mother or your wife, always choose your wife! –Amy 2)Whatever disagreement you have settle, seek forgiveness and make amends before you go to bed!
- Read Gary Chapmans book on Five Love Languages together!!! Speak your love in the language your spouse will best recieve it!! Gods richest blessing on your “till death do we part” journey! –Margie Heard Raise a family, pray together, Spend his money, share your thrills Through clear and stormy weather Help him with work then help him play, Always do your part, But most important along life’s way- Always protect his heart. –Teresa Camp 1. On your wedding pic or engagement pic, each of you either write or have printed the things you truly love about each other. even write the small things he/she does. The key is to always focus on the those things, especially when you are angry with each other. The point is to read those things when you are mad each other so that the thing you are mad about doesn’t seem so bad! There will be times that you don’t like each other very much, but as long as you can focus on what you love about each other everyday then your love will only grow stronger. And never, and I mean never focus on the things you dislike, never speak about these things to your friends! This is the man/woman that you chose to love and stand by your side. So, remember that because once you begin to focus on the things you dislike, you will notice more and more of the things you dislike. 2. Memorize 1Corinthians 13:4-8 or have it framed in your house because this is the definition of Love. Then you will need to make sure you are doing these things. So, Every morning, replace the word Love and It with your name. For example, Natalie is patient, Natalie is kind. She does not envy, etc. Then, every night reflect on this. 3. Finally, make sure you bring out the best in one another. If you can say that your spouse brings out the best of you, then you know you have found the right one! Best wishes! Love with all your heart! Grow old together, be the old, gray haired couple that holds hands, still goes on dates, and that your kids and grandkids can admire. Set goals for your marriage! 🙂 JJ Barrier I pray you have a blessed journey to marriage and a blessed marriage. Just be sure to stay in prayer, keep God first and if any tension arises always give it to God and let Him fight for you. A Great inspiring movie to watch is War Room and FireProof. –Jasmine
- Speak words of encouragement! Think of something you wish he would say to you, and tell him at least one encouraging edifying thing each day!
- Go out of your way to shower him with love, even when you don’t feel like it, especially when he doesn’t deserve it. These three things show unconditional love, they build him up and edifying him AND by building him up, your building yourself up because you are now ONE and what you do for him you do for yourself! Watch it come back 100 fold in ways you never imagined! –Michelle I hope you will have a beautiful spouse’s life and I hope you the best! –Laurie Be constructive in the descriptions, too. For example you don’t feel you are getting enough affection. You can put it this way: I really love when, for no apparent reason, you walk up behind me and give me a big hug and a kiss on the neck. I miss that. Or: I seem to not have enough time to get every thing done. It would help me out so much if you were able to rinse your dirty dish and put it in to the dishwasher. Etc. Be constructive and word things in a way you would want it brought up to you. –Beth I got married almost two years ago to the boy-man who continues to be my best and dearest friend. My! what a time it’s been. There has been lots of laughter, lots of tears, lots of hugs and lots of intimacy. And it’s been wonderful. Enjoy it! Don’t spend your time wishing for what could be, or what isn’t. Learn to love the little things that are. If your husband works all night painting your loving room when you really, really would rather he would just stop and snuggle with you, appreciate the sweet love that prompts him to want this home to be perfect for his bride. If you find yourself feeling that he has let you down, focus on all the ways he doesn’t. Remember that time he went out of his way just to bring a smile to your face. Joy is a choice. Make that choice. I don’t know if you are a Christian or not, but if you are not, I joyfully, sincerely, tearfully encourage you to consider this important issue, especially as you are on the threshold of marriage. Christ is such a pivotal point to marriage. He strengthens it, enriches it. He fulfills longings our spouse cannot touch… He is so essential to all of life, but in marriage, which in itself is a picture of Him, He really outdoes himself. 🙂 I wish you all the best as you enter this exciting new life! Praying blessings and many happy years upon you both, -Grace So every day when you wake up…remember to make that very important choice…that you will stay married to the love of your life…that you will love and honor, respect and trust that person, no matter what. 🙂 May you have one awesome marriage life together, blessed in making the right choices forward. –Karien Date monthly. Financial Peace University- take the classes. Learn how to save and be debit free! –Holly Best wishes, Jacob Leighton What frustrations have you had with your spouse this week? Was there anything on your mind this week that you haven’t shared, good or bad? What is something that you appreciated about your spouse this week? This may take only 15 minutes, or it may take 2 hours but be consistent and always make the time to do it. It is a worthwhile investment in your marriage! –Lindsay After 32 years of our marriage, I think the most important things I could share with you are to learn the meaning of truly sacrificial love, dying to selfishness for the good of the other, learn to forgive with your heart and memory, be open to life, not keep secrets from one another in the present and future, practice frugality early and get used to living on little and one income so that if and when you have to, it is not such a shock and sacrifice, and make sure you have time for fun and each other. Not sure where you are with faith, but getting to know the Lord and basing your marriage upon Him is an awesome start to a fulfilled life. No matter what trials befall you, He will be your Rock and the Foundation of your marriage. May our Lord bless you and keep you always in His care. We’ll be praying for you and your lifetime marriage. Remember the wedding is JUST a day. Your marriage is a lifetime. Make sure you spend as much time daily in preparing for life and living it together forever, as you are going to spend preparing for a day of excitement as you begin it. In terms of the wedding day, no one but YOU knows how it is “supposed to be”. If something gets screwed up, and there will be at least one, no worries. Nobody knows. Everyone just wants to see you happy, so go with the flow and enjoy your special day. All the goofy things that go wrong are memory makers. My veil caught fire as we signed our Bible together, flowers didn’t turn out, and I ended up forgetting them in our pics. We smiled and laughed then and now. Seriously, just enjoy this special day as you begin it with your best friend. Wow, didn’t mean to share this much. Be your hubby’s best friend and love him to pieces. Each day is a gift to be opened with joy and made the best of. So enjoy this time of preparation and excitement, and thoroughly love your life with your hubby! –Teresa
- Plan date nights with each other in mind. For example I plan a date night for something my husband would like. The next week he plans something I would like. * Stay playful
- Be each other’s #1 fan
- Pick your battles
- Check out OneFlesh.com also for oneness advice
- When someone says I’m Sorry, reply I forgive you. There is power in those words.
- Laugh a lot!
- Pray for each other daily These have helped us a great deal. We have our ups and downs, but we are each other’s best friends! Best wishes and Blessings on your marriage and life. –Ashley Unconditionally love each other. Choose your battles. Be Romantic. know each other’s love language and speak it regularly. Pray together, for each other, and go to church Together. Serve together. –Sarah Being together in God’s Presence has a way of shining a light on our selfishness, pride and anger with each other. Just a few minutes a night (okay, sometimes much longer!) will keep your relationship real and strong! –Jolyn
- Pray together – Staying focused on the Lord together is going to get you through ANYTHING! I have lived this first hand.
- Forgive – Never go to bed angry. NEVER. It is not worth it!
- Continue to date – After 10 years and 4 boys, my husband and I still go on dates, even though they are fewer and far between than we used to, it is still a priority. It helps refresh our relationship together. He is still my very best friend! Congrats to the couple and God Bless! –Jonna Moore Congratulations to you both. –Diane & Mike Winterboer Trust- If you don’t have trust you don’t have anything. –Laurel Also, no matter what you are going through, always remember, “This too, shall pass.” –Shannah